O rly? Omg! WTF??

roflmfao







So…the Internet comes with its very own language. It was only recently that I realized just how educated in this language I have truly become. I came across a quiz the other day that let me test my "knowledge" of what is known as "l33t speak". I do have to say, I am a bit confused with this. I mean, am I educated in this new language or have I simply become uneducated in the true form of the English language.

All that said, I was inspired to add this link to this quiz here so that all of my visitors might have the chance to test their own education or un-education...lol, w/e!! You decide, but don't forget to come back and tell me how you scored. Ttyl.

http://www.youthink.com/quiz.cfm?action=go_detail&sub_action=take&obj_id=92618&filter=popular&f_cat_id=5&time_span=latest

What I'm Really Thinking

First, I want to talk about Teresa. Teresa is the girl who never stops talking. It is virtually impossible to have any sort of conversation with her because she has a set of lungs the size of the Good Year Blimp, an endless air supply and lips that would put the Energizer Bunny to shame. Teresa jumps from topic to topic without hesitation but her favorite subject is definitely “I”.

We all have a Teresa in our lives and, admit it, it almost impossible to stay focused on the conversation that she is having. Below is a list of things I might really be thinking while Teresa tangles my hair into knots with all that hot air.


1) Hmm…I think I’ll check out that new movie about the invasion of earthworms tonight.
2) Can earthworms really be both sexes?
3) I wonder what it would be like if humans could be both sexes…successfully, I mean.
4) If humans were both sexes, would we all be single?
5) Hey, I bet I could write a really cool sci-fi book about single, a-sexual humanoid people.
6) If I wrote that book it could be one serious trip of a movie.
7) Hmm…what was that movie I was going to watch again?
8) Did I turn the television off before I left the house?
9) How much electricity does a single television use, anyway?
10) What if it storms while I’m gone and my television is hit by lightening?
11) An eel has a similar shape to a worm and some eels are electric.
12) Hmm…I wonder if it would be possible for an eel to power my television.
13) Oh wow…she’s still talking. I should throw in a quick “yeah” or “uh huh” here so she thinks I’m still with her.
14) While the sky is particularly beautiful today, I should probably throw in some quick eye contact too. Yeah that did the trick.
15) Now…what was that movie again?

Back to School

"Mom, I got in a fight today."

It is two days into the new school year for my second-grader and these were his first words to me when he walked in the door this afternoon. I took a moment to look him over (for expression as well as cuts and bruises) and he seemed ok. "Sit down and tell me what happened." I said.

Now, this young fellow has enough energy to power the entire country and at least half of another one. His story was full of animation and demonstration and was just as entertaining as it was unsettling. To sum it all up it turned out to be a normal spat between young minds that turned physical. These things happen every day so it is no surprise to me that one of my two boys would come home with such a story on any given day. There is, however, something rather disturbing about the whole situation.

To explain a bit, I have given my two young warriors an order and I expect them to follow it. They both understand that if they take the steps they have been instructed to take, in the order they should be taken, and they still end up in a fight at school, there will be no trouble at home. My little one followed this order as best he could and still came home with this news.

Although the fight occurred on the school bus, the making of it began at school early in the day. In class, the boy snatched my son's pencil from his desk and would not give it back. While telling his teacher that the boy took his pencil he was told to "sit down" and "be quiet". Nothing was done about this except for a brief speech to my son about "responsibility and keeping up with his own supplies" when he later asked to borrow one of hers. Of coarse, the other boy had to giggle about this and taunt my son a little because that's how these things go.

At recess, this same boy rushes toward the swing my son is getting into, shoves him out of the way and into the dirt, snatching the swing up for himself. I am sure you can picture the scenario. My son takes this to the teacher on duty who does not ask who the offender is but instead, explains to him that he will be in trouble and lose his recess if he doesn't keep his hands to himself, try to get along with others and play nice.

There was also an incident during lunch where this same boy walked by my son and casually brushed some of his food onto the floor. The teacher noticed the mess, scolded my son and made him clean it up. He struggled to tell her what had happened but he could hardly get a word in much less her full attention.

Throughout the day he fought to be heard and no one would hear him. It was as if part of the teacher's dress code requirement was a good, solid set of earplugs. Possibly they were even pre-tested and hired using a 'lackofattentionometer'. There is no surprise that this fight occurred when nothing was ever done to rectify its build up in the first place. While I take note that at least the bus driver had sense enough to separate the two, after hearing all of these events, I could think of only one question to ask my son. I took his little hands, looked into his little eyes and with anticipation I asked him...

"Well, son...did you win?"

Flying Free

At the age of 82, Mae Riverton was the most prim and proper, well-dressed, well-mannered, perfect description of a real southern lady that I had ever laid eyes on. This woman could bake a cake that would bring tears of joy your eyes. She was the type who listened well and when she spoke, her words were calm and wise. Being a treasured friend of our family and a close friend of my mother's, we saw her quite often.

Wednesday had somehow declared itself our official "have lunch together" day and we were all loaded up in my mother's van, headed to the local buffet. The sun was shining, the mood was pleasant and conversation was flowing when suddenly, out of nowhere, this maniac driver flies up from behind us and cuts us off right in front of our turn. My mother struggles at the wheel for a moment but manages to keep things in control as we run off of the road and come to a stop on the sidewalk.

"Are we all ok in here?" She asks. But before the words could finish leaving her lips, the passenger door had slammed shut and we were all staring outside in surprise at Mae. This fragile little southern bell stood at the front of the car with her left hand holding the sleeve of her right arm down and her right arm holding a hand, held high, flying the bird! The obscenities she shouted as she aimed her gesture at the driver, who was now pulling a u-turn in the restaurant parking lot, were not as harsh as some I have heard, but you can bet that coming from Mae they were more powerful than any you could imagine.

Once the offending driver (although offended should be more like it) had exited the parking lot and drove away, Mae rolled her sleeve back down, straightened her dress, patted her hair down and calmly got back in the car. The silence lasted all of about thirty seconds while she sat there as if nothing had happened and we all stared at her in shock. I still can't remember which one of us started laughing first, but the laughter lasted a whole lot longer.

Mae certainly stepped out that day and I don't think any of us that were witness to it will ever forget it. Over lunch, we laughed about it some more and even harder when she declared that her only wish was..."Don't tell my kids.
"