What I'm Really Thinking

First, I want to talk about Teresa. Teresa is the girl who never stops talking. It is virtually impossible to have any sort of conversation with her because she has a set of lungs the size of the Good Year Blimp, an endless air supply and lips that would put the Energizer Bunny to shame. Teresa jumps from topic to topic without hesitation but her favorite subject is definitely “I”.

We all have a Teresa in our lives and, admit it, it almost impossible to stay focused on the conversation that she is having. Below is a list of things I might really be thinking while Teresa tangles my hair into knots with all that hot air.


1) Hmm…I think I’ll check out that new movie about the invasion of earthworms tonight.
2) Can earthworms really be both sexes?
3) I wonder what it would be like if humans could be both sexes…successfully, I mean.
4) If humans were both sexes, would we all be single?
5) Hey, I bet I could write a really cool sci-fi book about single, a-sexual humanoid people.
6) If I wrote that book it could be one serious trip of a movie.
7) Hmm…what was that movie I was going to watch again?
8) Did I turn the television off before I left the house?
9) How much electricity does a single television use, anyway?
10) What if it storms while I’m gone and my television is hit by lightening?
11) An eel has a similar shape to a worm and some eels are electric.
12) Hmm…I wonder if it would be possible for an eel to power my television.
13) Oh wow…she’s still talking. I should throw in a quick “yeah” or “uh huh” here so she thinks I’m still with her.
14) While the sky is particularly beautiful today, I should probably throw in some quick eye contact too. Yeah that did the trick.
15) Now…what was that movie again?